Blog #4: Finding Your People (In Your 20s)
Hello and WELCOME to another weekly blog post. This one got a bit delayed, and I am sorry for that, but I’m SO happy you’re here with me right now :) I MISSED YOU.
What are you doing? What time of day is it? Where are you reading from? So many questions. I want all the answers down below, friends.
The topic we’re covering today came to me a few days ago as I was falling asleep. Somehow I remembered it too, which is a big win for me considering I never remember any of my nightly thoughts the following morning unless I type out a text to Suketu with my ideas.
Your 20s are a very… hard time, to say the least. I’ve found so many things out about myself, things I never realized or understood before. Your 20s are a time to “mess up" and “make mistakes”, as every older person has said ever. Yes, I find this to be true. But one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned?
People come and go through your life far too often in this decade of life.
It’s weird, really. Obviously you have lifelong friends and family who are consistently in your life. That’s not to say, though, that you don’t have to make the effort to talk to them. Because in reality, time passes you by like there’s no tomorrow. I’m only 25, and I swear to you, I BLINK and the week is over. How does that work? Do you feel that way too? Man, this is a tough decade.
Back to my main point: people constantly come and go throughout your 20s. Why IS this?
Think about it this way: what are the monumental life changes that occur during this time for most individuals? College graduation, starting a full-time job, marriage, moving to new places, etc. Those aren’t small changes, rather, they are quite literally LIFE-ALTERING. And better yet, aside from all the things changing AROUND you, you’ll find yourself changing, too. Naturally, your friend groups shift during this time, and throughout your life. You just notice it much more now, at least I did.
Think about this, and I mean REALLY think about this. Are you the same person you were a year ago? 5 years ago? Heck, I’m in my mid-twenties now, and I would not even recognize my 20-year-old self. All these major milestones have shaped me into the person I am now, writing to you, and creating a podcast for you. I am more confident in myself, more socially aware, more emotionally intelligent, more mature, and lastly, more capable of handling challenges that come my way. How have you changed?
With these major changes within myself, I noticed a difference in the kind of people I was attracting. The people in my life better me. They challenge me. And better yet, they want the best for me, as I want the best for them too. Don’t you just think this happens as we get older? Suketu and I definitely have more friends now who also have significant others because we love making double dates of our hangout sesh’s. And can I just say, I’ve never felt more seen? I can’t tell you how much I love my friends. Friends who have entered my life just at the right time and have been such a godsend.
Now, that’s not to say we haven’t lost some people along the way. And truth be told, that’s fine. 1000% okay. As I’ve matured it has shown me that each person brings value into your life at some point in time. Everything in this world is a learning experience. I used to get so upset and hurt by the actions of others, and it wasn’t until recently in life that I realized… who the f*ck cares about what ANYONE else does? I sure don’t. It’s not worth wasting my brain space and livelihood caring so much about other people.
This took QUITE a turn, lol. Ok, I’m done with my ADHD moment. I want to emphasize the importance of finding YOUR people in your 20s because they will most likely follow you throughout the course of your life. And like I mentioned earlier, that’s because you go through these huge changes that often bring about these friends that have so much in common with you. Started a new job? I bet you’re friends with at least 1 of your co-workers. Moving to a new place? Did you talk to your neighbors yet? I’ve met some of my best friends in these ways. I think eventually everyone finds their people, who they can truly be themselves around, and that right there is the most beautiful thing there is.
Bottom line is, find your people who care about your successes, wins, and development along the way. Friends who accept you for who you are. Friends who love you and want to be there for you. Good people make life a whole lot sweeter.
Love you Half Past Crew, see you next week.
